shadowplay
by shell games
Summary: "how beautiful is youth!" valentine's day drabble for hannah/simplysparks.


for **hannah**, aka **simply sparks**, via the VDDE. my prompts were short nails and black nail polish, a british accent, a line with the words llamas, purple, and cooking. uhh. this is a lot more depressing than it should've been, considering it's valentine's day...oh well?

enjoy.

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I.

because she's the worst kind of person in the best kind of way.

II.

because he can't tie ties and she had helped him the first time he found a reason to. and now, now his fingers fumble with the dark grey silk and he remembers how her deft fingers, pale and thin with short painted nails could loop around the fabric and how he had remarked that it was an awfully sisyphean activity and weren't ties outdated anyway? while her lips widened in a mona lisa smile and replied that one day he'd have to tie a tie by himself and she wouldn't help him because then he'd never learn.

fuck it, he thinks, and tosses the tie in the garbage before jamming a cigarette in his mouth and collapsing on his bed.

III.

because her amber eyes were the first thing he saw when he walked out of the dean's office on his first day at the academy, glinting with mischief as she said wow you must be the new kid _(yeah, he says) _well you know what they say about new kids _(no, he says) _they're the easiest to corrupt. (_he laughs because he's already pretty damn corrupted_)

IV.

because he saw her self-destructive downwards spiral but was so enamored with the beauty that he didn't think of catching her.

V.

because one night, she broke into the locked-up and abandoned lawrence house with an ounce of pot and two bottles of stolen wine. she had wanted to share and she could've chosen to share with anybody - landon with the british accent, todd with the llama hair, derrick with the purple knees (she had _plenty_ of boys) - but she had chosen him and together they sat on a squeaky bunk bed in the dark, trying to blow smoke rings and failing miserably.

he told her about how his dad had left and she told him about how her mom was a whore. he revealed secrets like he'd been to six boarding schools in the past two years and she revealed secrets like her sister died when she was nine and it was all her fault.

then out of the blue after the second bottle was nearly empty she turned to him and asked him truth or dare? and he smirked and replied how old are we, block, 12? and she nudged him playfully and he chose dare and she without breaking eye contact or anything told him kiss me.

which he did.

VI.

because she always wrote little notes to say the most important things like _dear skye, i'm sorry_. _dear mommy, please come back._ except these little notes were a secret that he had accidentally stumbled upon when he was trying to find her copy of the chemistry notes. and there was a reason that they were a secret because she was normally cheery and happy and tough and not writing notes like _dear daddy, i'm scared._

so, (he never told her he knew about them.)_  
_

VII.

because everyone else at the fucking funeral is looking all nice and polished not even crying or anything in fear of smearing their mascara or something when he feels like shit and it's ridiculous that once he felt like he finally belonged somewhere she fucking left and he's back where he started.

only she would do this to me, he mutters, looking towards the sky. only she would do this to anyone.

VIII.

because they were infinite together, lit each other's cigarettes and dangled their legs as they spent saturdays on the rooftops and sundays around bonfires. he would teach her spanish swear words and she'd teach him the french words for genitalia, then they would part and he'd say bye but she'd reply i don't like goodbyes i mean i'm always going to see you again so what's the point?

_(the point is that one day i'm not going to see you again.)_

(he felt stronger around her and now he feels weak.)

IX.

because he figured out he loved her the morning after the lawrence house and he felt on top of the world as he sauntered over to massie's dorm with a spring in his step because he had never felt love before, entering without knocking only to find her pallid body hunched over her desk next to an empty capsule of pills and an unfinished note that read _dear josh _and nothing else.

X.

because.

XI.

_Massie J. Block_  
_October 25th, 1994 - February 14th, 2011  
How beautiful is youth!_

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**author's note:** shit, i don't think included cooking. and this didn't make much sense, i figured out that most drabbles don't? i'll stop being awkward now. i'm pushing the word limit here. you know what i need? an epic signoff. dunno what i should do though.

err.

-ana

(i realize that was a bit underwhelming for an epic sign off. apologies.)


End file.
